Back when I was in Boy Scouts (yes I’m an Eagle Scout) we used to go camping at a farm near where I grew up. One of the things I can remember about camping there, besides the giant water moccasin we encountered, was that in the woods nearby there was a house with huge windows. At the time I can remember thinking about how very little privacy the people who lived there would have and wondered how they could feel secure in such a house where everyone could easily see in.

In my last post I mentioned that one of my favorite stories from the Bible is the story of the woman brought before Jesus to be stoned by the Pharisees. It can be found in John 8:2-11 in case you missed it. In my post I talked about things from the woman’s perspective, this time I want to turn things around a bit.

In my career in ministry I saw a lot of people in some very difficult situations. This was never truer than at the church outside of Philly. While it was a low-income church, it was still a very generous church that was actively involved in helping the less fortunate, so people would often come to us for help.

When I first came to this church I wanted to help everyone. I believed every story I heard and was filled with compassion for people. However, after a time this compassion soon began to fade and I started to become very jaded. I found myself judging people who were struggling, not understanding why they couldn’t just get their lives together. It always seemed to be that the same people were struggling with the same issues over and over again.

Needless to say, do to my recent struggles, my perspective has changed quite a bit since then. I do still believe, as with my own situation, many of the struggles people have in life are of their own doing. When people allow themselves to fall into habits or situations which are not the best for them. This can happen for a variety of reasons, but it often does start with one choice somewhere in their life followed by a series of bad decisions.

The problem is, once you’re in the situation, it’s next to impossible to get out of. Soon you find your choices have left you in a place where you feel totally helpless and all alone. You fear there’s no way out and you’re going to spend the rest of your life struggling and every day you feel like you’re barely treading water trying to survive. If you’re lucky you’ll find someone willing to work with you to help you find a way out of your situation, or you’ll find the strength to find your own way.

Most Christians will never know how this feels. If they did I believe our churches would not be filled with such judgmental people. In my own situation I have had so many cast judgment on me in times when I just needed a friend who cared. I’ve had “friends” turn their back on me, call me names and basically tell me what a disappointment I am.

The thing is when someone is in a situation where they’re struggling, they’re already aware that they’ve caused it and that it’s not where God would have them to be. But when they reach out for help, they don’t need someone to smack their hand and tell them how bad they are. They need someone to take their hand, to hold it, to help them, to tell them that they’re there with them. They need someone to let them know that God still loves them and so do they, and that in time everything will be okay.

Luke 6:36-38 reads:”Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

From someone who has been where others are, PLEASE don’t judge people when they ask for your help. Don’t remind them of something they already know. If someone is looking for a hand to hold then please just hold their hand and let them know you care.

Besides most of the people I know, even pastors, have things in their lives that they would rather other people not figure out. They have their own temptations, struggles and fears. Just like the Pharisees, no one is perfect and as such no one is in the position that they are worthy to judge another. As the old saying goes “people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”