Merry Christmas…

A lot has happened over the past couple of years to change my perspective on Christmas. For starters, working in retail I’ve seen people spend exorbitant amounts of money they don’t have on things they don’t really need. I’ve also seen people around me put so much focus on the temporary, things that won’t last or will eventually wear out, instead of on the things that are really important. Most importantly some recent life changes of my own have really helped me to put things into perspective this year.

For the longest time I’ve felt poor and powerless. I’ve felt like God was angry with me and that I’d never be happy. That somehow because of my choices I was not destined to ever be truly happy. What I didn’t realize is that none of this was true.

I now know that I’m definitely not poor. I’ve been given so many blessings that I overlooked. I’ve finally started to see these blessings and because my eyes are opened God has now blessed me with even more. I also know that I’m not powerless. I felt powerless because I had willingly given up my power. I’d forgotten the fact God will give me the power to do anything I put my mind to, as long as I put my trust in Him. I also know through this that God may be disappointed in me at times, but that He does want me to be happy as any parent would want happiness for their children.

In Matthew 7:9-11 Jesus says “‘Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!'”

I truly for the first time in a long time feel like my old self again. I feel empowered to make changes to my situation. I’ve already made some that have brought me the happiness that I never thought I’d feel again. What I have to do now is to continue to trust in God to see me through the rest of this transition and through to my journey’s end.

Everyone goes through periods of time like I did. Times when it seems like it’s a struggle to just get out of bed. You feel like you just want to curl up and die. Like you have nothing left to live for. If this is you then please know that you’re not powerless and you’re not alone. You have help out there, all you need to do is look for it. And also know that you are blessed, just open your eyes a little wider and you’ll see it.

Just think about it this way. Sometimes when you break a bone and it begins to heal wrong it must be re-broken in order to heal properly. This happens in life as well. I think sometimes in life we too have to be broken in order to heal properly. It’s painful and it hurts, but in the end we’ll be stronger than we were before.

Merry Christmas and God bless!

Change

Most people fear change. Not the kind you find in your pocket but the kind that comes along in life. Those times where the future doesn’t seem so clear, where familiarity gives way to uncertainty. Where the path you were on takes and abrupt u-turn. I’m undergoing one of those changes now.

I’m a Pisces…we like peace and harmony. As a result I’ve allowed myself to check my feelings and emotions, and somewhere along the way I’ve lost myself. I’ve been feeling for a little while, like I was living someone else’s life.

The thing about change is that it has to happen in order for us to get where we need to be. Many times when we undergo a painful change in this life it’s because there’s something better waiting for us on the other side. This is what I’m holding to now, that after all this is over with my life will be better for it.

Jeremiah 29:11 says “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” I still believe God has a plan for me. Maybe that’s one of the reason for this change I’m undertaking, so that I can find out what that purpose is.

All I know now is that I’m scared to death. I’m worried about being alone on this journey. About becoming more lost than I already am. About ending up back where I started. But this is the chance I have to take.

I got a tattoo yesterday. It’s my first one and it’s of a “tree of life”. I originally chose to get it because I liked the design. However in hindsight I think it’s very symbolic for what has transpired for me the past few days. In order for my life to truly grow and bloom some things must first pass away, namely my selfishness and greed. My hope is that once this time has passed the harvest will come and that I will look back on it all as my season of change.

Trees

Northeast Pennsylvania is a beautiful place to live this time of year. As the leaves on the trees begin to change the landscape becomes an amazing kaleidoscope of colors. Everywhere you look you see color, and if you’re fortunate enough to go up into the mountains from the valley, it’s even more amazing to look down on everything.

Soon though the landscape here will change and the color will be gone. The colors will be replaced by the sight of bare trees looking down upon us from all around. The interesting thing though, is that when this happens you can often get a better view of the valley. Once the leaves are off the trees your view is no longer blocked by the trees themselves so you can get a better view of the world around you.

This is a lot like life I think. When things are going well and everything seems “green” you can sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture. Your view becomes blocked by all the good things going on in your own life. However, when the fall comes and the good things become few, the landscape can begin to seem drab and the outlook grim. But in this time, if you take a long, hard look around you, you’ll begin to see the bigger picture and get a better view of the world. You’ll see things you never noticed before.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” In time the leaves will come back to the trees and new life will spring forth from the ground. The same thing can be said of our lives. When we endure a season of change, we will see things begin to new things spring forth in our lives as the old goes away or takes new form, and as new things begin to appear.

These types of changes are necessary in life. It’s only when the old dies out that the new can come forth. This is especially true of the Christian life. God cannot begin to work in us until the old part of us slowly dies out. Then once that part of us is gone, God can begin transforming us into what we were meant to be.

If you’re enduring a season of change, hang in there and know that eventually something new and better will come of it. Use the time where you are to change your point of view, and try to see things differently than before when things were better. Then eventually, when things are good again, you’ll still be able to see the bigger picture and see the world around you in a whole new light.

Throwing Stones

Thinking a little more on Saturday’s blog brought to mind one of my favorite stories from the Bible which can be found in John 8:2-11:

²At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. ³The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group ⁴and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

⁹At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

¹¹“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

There are a lot of things that I like about this story but to understand it a little better you need to understand a few things about it (these all play into why I like this story so much).

First, in order for them to have condemned her of adultery, someone had to actually catch her in the act. And, as you can imagine, to actually catch her in the act means someone had to have been spying on her. I’m not going to spell it out here, but the words “peeping Tom” do come to mind!

Secondly, in case you missed this day in biology, it takes two people to engage in adultery. So, where’s the man who was involved? Could it have been one of those who was so eager to stone her was actually the guilty party? Could it be that they set her up in order to trap her? We don’t really know the answer to this question but it is definitely something to ponder.

Finally could it be that all of this was simply done in order to test Jesus? It may seem like a big effort, but the Pharisees were out to get Jesus. He wasn’t good for business and they wanted them gone at any cost.

I think my favorite part though, is what Jesus does once they bring her to Him. He kneels down…and begins writing in the dirt. We never learn what He is writing. Did He write a Scripture passage? Did He draw a picture? Did He write the name of the guilty man which the Pharisees already knew? Maybe He just drew a line in the sand. We don’t really know what He wrote but there’s just something to me about the picture of Jesus kneeling down and using his finger to write in the dirt.

As He was doing this, however, the Pharisees became impatient and kept pressing Him to say something, so Jesus does. He says, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” The Pharisees are known for being a righteous and pious group so that shouldn’t stop them, right?

I can almost hear what happens next. Dead silence followed by stones slowly hitting the ground, one by one. Thud…thud…thud, until the crowd has dispersed and it’s only Jesus there with the woman.

Jesus stops writing in the dirt and stands. The woman, embarrassed, probably standing there in only a bed sheet and looking down in shame, wonders what Jesus will say to her. And His response? He simply asks her if anyone is still there to accuse her. When she says, “No.” His answer is simply “”Then neither do I condemn you…now go and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus didn’t condemn her. He didn’t call her names. He didn’t tell her how she was going to hell and needed to repent. He simply told her to go and change her ways.

But this is the hardest part. I can remember numerous times in church we’d have people come and you could tell God was working in them. They knew there were things in their life that they needed to change. Sometimes you’d see a dramatic difference in someone, but unfortunately this was the rarity. What often happened is that the person would try and try, but eventually would succumb to their environment. They’d go back to the lifestyle God was calling them to leave behind.

Despite working in churches I think a lot of times this was me. I’d let other things, besides God, influence me and my decisions. Some of these were friends who were outside the church, but many times these were people in the church (believe it or not there are even negative influences in the church). These days I’m not in a church, although this will soon change with my new work schedule. But even though I’m not in church, I’m finding myself being less influenced by my surroundings. I’m trying to rise above those influences that would pull me away from my relationship with God and from doing what I know is right.

In the end what we all have to realize is that making changes takes time. We can’t just change overnight and rid our lives of all of the negative influences. We have to look around us and slowly change the things we can control. Things like our own behaviors, our friends, the places we hang out, all of these things are ours to control. As we make changes we may mess up from time to time, but the key is to not give up entirely and to keep pushing forward. Then the next time we’ll see that we’re not as easily tripped up as we were before.

In the words of Chinese philosopher Lao Tsu, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”