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I’ve struggled to write much of anything recently. I’m having one of those stretches where it feels life is coming at you from pretty much every direction. What is unfortunate in these times is that life continues to go on and so must you. So you have to fight through the feelings of doubt, frustration, anxiety, depression…all of the negatives and just keep going. I guess Dory was right…we have to “just keep swimming.”

I think my biggest frustration is that even when life wasn’t going great I could pray and see God’s hand at work. I haven’t been able to see this for a while now. I’ve even explicitly prayed for it, for God to “show me” He’s working and moving. Just some small sign that He’s listening. My prayers have been met with silence…I think. Maybe I’m just jaded. Maybe I’m spending too much time focusing on the chaos and I’m missing God’s hand. It just gets frustrating sometimes having to defend God and search for His moving. I just wish God’s working was a little more obvious sometimes.

Romans 8:26-28 says that: 26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose.

This has always been one of my favorite passages to share with people who are struggling to find the words to pray. It’s been a great comfort for me now as I am struggling to find the words right now. It seems like my prayers are the same and have been for months now as I face a great deal of uncertainty…and silence.

It is a nice reminder to hear that God is working for the good of those who love Him and I hope that whatever comes of this is for the best. I will say God has been good in giving me a great support system around me. They’ve been a great source of encouragement as they are praying for me and encouraging me to be patient. I do believe it’ll all work out but any day now would be nice.